Saturday, 20 January 2018

The One With PhD Applications (46 months + 9 days)


Why do I want to do a PhD. No bloody idea. What else am I going to do? Work in a pub for the rest of my life? No thank you, no no no 100% no. I would be totally bored and want to shoot myself in the face every single day. I want to do something that I enjoy. I want to do something that actually MEANS something. I want to save the world because I clearly have some kind of mental disorder that gives me a grand sense of self importance when in actual fact I am just a tiny human who is completely irrelevant to the universe and nobody gives a shit about 98’s when you’ve got a 2.2.

To be completely blunt, I’m nosey. I like knowing things. I like finding things out. I’m curious. And that killed the cat but, whatever. I’m really not in the right frame of mind to be doing this right now. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I’m no longer trying to write PhD applications and I’ve inadvertently started writing a blog post instead. I’ve listened to the same stupid French song on repeat for what feels like 36 hours and I’m not over it yet. Probably losing my mind. My contacts are all fuzzy and I can’t even see the fucking screen of the computer right now.

I want to be Dr Bones. I want to discover something amazing. I’m GOING to discover something amazing, I can just feel it. I just need you to let me. This is all bullshit anyway.

How come I can write 263 words of shit but not 263 words for PhD?

Actually... that helped. 

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